Most people have an image in their mind of their ideal
partner and also how their perfect relationship should be. When the person that
they thought was ideal does not conform to the ideals that they have it can
cause contention within the relationship. Developing guidelines for what you
want in a partner is a great step but they must be flexible. Understanding the
past and those things that can affect positive change for the future is your
greatest arsenal in the ways to get your ex back.
Resolve past issues
Flexibility in a relationship is one of the greatest assets
you can posses because of the varied personalities in people. Gaining an
awareness of the issues from the past that instigated the breakup can be
difficult but need to be evaluated in order to avoid them in the future. Moving
on from the past lays the groundwork for building a joyous future. During this
step in the process you must absolutely point the finger at yourself and
consider the role that you played in the ending of the relationship. Ultimately
the only person you can change is yourself and that is where you should focus
the most effort in so doing you are becoming an ideal partner for your ex.
Get a life
The natural tendency for those suffering from a breakup is
to become anti-social. Now is the critical time to take action that is not
natural so the result will move you into a direction toward having your ex
back. With the extra time on your hands instead of sulking or being angry get
in touch with friends and meet new people. The idea is to begin creating
curiosity in your ex. Interest is provoked in your ex because they will begin
to wonder what is going on in your life and how you are handling the breakup
and they will likely get in touch with you.
Listen to your ex
A person has an inherent need to be heard and it is
essential during this sensitive time in your relationship to listen. The
excitement could get you very easily overreacting over their communication with
you that you feel compelled to give all the reasons why you should get back
together. Avoid taking such action for the reason that it will delay the
progress that is being made as a way to get your ex back. Acknowledge what they
are saying and repeat back to them what you thought they said at various
periods in the conversation so they know you are listening. Listening to your
ex will surprise them and stir up the idea that you are making changes. The
attitude towards their reasons for the breakup needs to be understanding and
acceptance.
Accept the breakup
A great majority of the reasons for the breakup are really
too late to think that fixing them will cause them to take you back right away.
If that was the case than they wouldn’t have ended the relationship and allowed
you to make the changes they desired. Accepting the breakup can be difficult
but by listening to them and then providing the distance they want it shows
that you are not desperate. Desperation can be very unattractive so you should
be showing confidence in your new circumstances. Giving your ex distance shows
the breakup has been accepted and you are confident in the new direction.
Work on yourself and focus on the changes that you can make
with who you are. Make the changes that you need to become a better partner in
the relationship and the results will be magnificent as you follow the ways to
get your ex back.
To Your Happiness,
Josh
Josh
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